It’s not about the money….although truth be told it started out
that way. Coming full circle in my six year journey of studying
and implementing online marketing taught me some serious stuff.
1. Friendship matters.
2. Family members are here for a short time.
3. We are here on earth to serve.
4. There are more important things than money.
Friendship matters.
Numerous medical studies have been done that show the direct
relationship of bonding with friends and living a longer life.
Friends are present for your accomplishments and they don’t
desert you when times are bad or failure is imminent.
Friends accept you for who you are – not what you can do for
them. Real friends reach out, love unconditionally and want
what’s best for you. They want you to succeed in whatever you
choose to do. They cheer you on at the finish line.
The simple act of loving and caring for a friend is truly
beneficial to your livelihood. Creating that ‘connection’ is the
actual life blood of avoiding diseases and early death. But
don’t take my word for it. Read the book, Younger Next Year for
Women, by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge, MD. The statistics
will blow your mind.
I’ve always appreciated my friends and now as I’m slowing down,
taking time to breathe and smell the fresh country air, I’m in
awe of the love that is bestowed upon me.
Even when I was totally engrossed in running three businesses
and didn’t always find time to spend with my friends, they did
not abandon me.
They accepted my crazy obsessed attention to work (even when I
was checking email and responding to phone calls at dinner
parties) and scooped me up in their loving embraces. Thank you
Lisa, Star, Karla, Cheryl, Tami, Joyce, Hayako, Loretta, Dawn,
Yvonne, Karen, Kathryn (rest in peace) and the list goes on.
Family members are here for a short time.
As horrendous a thought it may seem, we are all dying. Each of
us will travel this road on our own. Our time on earth – even at
best is 100 years, but most of us will die well before that
time.
Life is short. Time is getting away from us.
When we are obsessed about work, status, getting ahead, saving
for retirement and more, we lose track of what is really
important. We certainly don’t mean to miss that special function
with Aunt Cindy, or bow out of dinner with Grandma and Grandpa,
or overlook the invitation to join our brother for a weekend at
his home.
But it happens. And it’s distressing, because the time that we
are here on earth, must be quality time. Quality time to love,
laugh, play, and to serve our family.
For more than 25 years, my husband Ben and I have been traveling
across the country to spend time with my parents and
grandparents for Christmas. It’s been a joyous time. I’ve
watched as my parents and grandparents grow older. Each year
there have been signs that the aging process has advanced. More
arthritis in Grandma’s hands, more sleep needed for Grandpa,
less memory for Dad, a slowing down in pace for my Mom.
Within the last few years, I’ve lost both grandparents, and my
Dad has been diagnosed with serious illnesses including a form
of dementia.
My most precious memories of time spent with my family include…
• Laughing at one another as we played cards around
the dining room table
• Watching old movies with Gram until midnight
• Even arguing amongst each other and making up
So respectfully, I ask you to consider where your time is being
spent now. Are you focused on what is important? Are you
spending time loving your family members? Are you forgiving the
parent or brother who has hurt you? Once they are gone, it’s
final (here on earth). Don’t let them be placed at the end of
the line. Don’t let work be at the front. Seriously, it’s not
the priority.
We are here on earth to serve.
Embarrassingly, over the last six years I’ve gotten so caught up
in my second business of teaching others how to sell and market
themselves, I’ve dropped out of serving people in our community
and church. I resigned as Chair of a Respect Life committee,
gave up weekly bible study that my husband lead, and even missed
church services sometimes, because I was just too tired.
My priorities were all messed up. My focus is now clear. God
must be first. My family is second in line. And business is
third. Famous entrepreneur Mary Kay Ash had the same sense of
priority. And her business was (and still is) a smashing success.
Focusing on God first means to serve His people. Serving for me,
is working within my church of other believers and fulfilling
the jobs that minister to others. My mission, which I now
clearly understand is to spread God’s Word. Without apology.
Without worrying what others will think. And to do so with love
in my heart.
There are more important things than money.
I am not saying that work doesn’t deserve a place in our lives.
It does. Work provides us with the basic necessities to live. It
creates an economy. It allows us to interact with others and
build friendships. It provides for our children.
For many of us work is our passion. However, when we are so
fixated on work to make gobs of money, spend on material riches,
worry about keeping ‘up’ with our neighbor, driving an expensive
car we really can’t afford, staying up late, getting up
early, puffing up our ego….all for the sake of the almighty dollar, we
need to re-evaluate.
There is no shame in making a lot of money as long as you are
generous to others with it and not horde it all for yourself.
But making “Work” the biggest focus in your life, so that all
that is really important is tossed haphazardly to the side, just
for the sake of money, in my opinion, becomes detrimental to our
own physical, emotional and spiritual selves.
Money can persuade people to make decisions they would normally
not succumbed to such as…missing your church services, not
attending your child’s soccer game, skipping bible study,
telling yourself you don’t have time to help people in need,
charging more than people can bear, erring on the side of
egotistical instead of being humble. The list goes on.
There use to be a time that my entire focus was on making more
and more money. I wanted a big house, fancy car, expensive
clothes, lavish vacations and sadly, even status.
I achieved these things, but money can’t fill the spot in your
heart that is calling out for something else. Money can’t get me
to heaven. Money can’t bring my grandparents back. Money can’t
heal my dad of his terminal illness. Money can’t buy me
happiness. Money can’t buy me ‘real’ friends.
For those of you who do not have ‘Money’ as your main priority –
I want to congratulate you.
Consider all the gifts you have with your life.
Re-think your real priorities. Remember Mary Kay
Ash’s slogan: God first, family second, career third.
Sleep on it. Most importantly, pray on it. Then take action to
re-prioritize. Your rewards will be great.
Alicia Bausley owns and operates an engineering and consulting
company with her husband, Ben. She is devoted to serving her
church, community, family and friends. If you would like to
subscribe to her daily spiritual posts, you are invited to
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